• A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So, he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche. “Wow!” the man said. “Can I take it for a test drive?” Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house. “Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?” 
“My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money”.

• Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see”. 
Watson replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. 
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes was silent for a moment, and then said. “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen your tent”.

• Why was Mr. Bean fighting with the man sitting in front of him on the bike?
For the Window seat.

• Statistics is like a bikini… it suggests too much but reveals nothing.

Men 6, Women 25:

Contributed By Gayatri Sarang

• A pushy salesman knocked on the door of a house on a quiet street. After delivering his pitch to the woman who opened the door, he noticed the 
irritated look on her face. “ Did I come at a bad time?” he asked.
“Yes”, she answered. “I'm home”.

• You know you've reached middle age when your children complain that you don't drive fast enough and their mother accuses you of speeding.

• A veteran golfer was instructing a total newcomer to the game: “Get the ball as near the flag as you can”. The novice took his shot, and the instructor was amazed to see the ball land within a foot of the hole.
“What to do next?” asked the newcomer.
“Knock it into the hole now”.
“Oh. Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?”

Contributed By Sonal, Shiksha , Charu, Mubaraka